


I'm Not Sick

by maastrictian



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, References to Illness, The flu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:38:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maastrictian/pseuds/maastrictian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers definitely never gets sick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Sick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [longwhitecoats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/longwhitecoats/gifts).



> This is technically set in 616 rather than the MCU, but it barely matters.

"I'm not sick."

Sam looked at Steve skeptically. "Uh huh. We got practice, man."

Steve pulled the covers up a little higher. 

"You gonna skip leg day? You're always givin' me shit about that."

With all his serum provided strength, Steve sneezed.

"So I'm just saying, if you aren't sick, then we've got practice."

"I'm getting up."

"You're an idiot, Rogers."

\-------------------------

"I'm not sick."

"That's great," Tony folded back his face plate, "Look, I didn't pay attention in the briefing, but I think we're supposed to be practicing you stopping the tank from hitting me."

"Sorry, I just - " Steve paused to blow his nose.

"Come on Rogers, I'm the one who’s supposed to be phoning it in here."

His kleenex was not up to the super-soldier provided task, "Do you have a tissue?"

"Why would I have a tissue? And stop distracting me from gloating over the fact that this is the first drill ever where I've scored higher than you."

An alarm bell suddenly blared and Jarvis' voice rang out, "Avengers, Assemble!"

"Oh thank god, an excuse to miss by eleven o'clock with the board." Tony fired his repulsors and dashed off to the command room.

"I really need a tissue..."

\-------------------------

"I'm not sick"

Natasha arched an eyebrow and adjusted the fuel mix in the Quinjet. 

"I never get sick. Serum." He sneezed again.

"According to your file you got the flu twice in January '45 alone."

"Hydra!"

"Influenza. At least according to your file."

He was wracked by a coughing fit, but managed to gasp, "It was a Hydra plot."

"So you're admitting to falsifying government records?"

Steve's attempt to pout was interrupted by another sneeze.

"Ok, thirty seconds to contact. You sure you don't want to call in sick, Rogers?"

The Quinjet swung in low over Pittsburgh.

\-------------------------

"I'm not sick"

Steve sat down hard, using the remains of a Doombot as a chair.

"HULK SMASH!"

"Thanks buddy."

\-------------------------

"I'm not sick"

"Verily friend, tis but a few wounds gained in valorous battle."

A finger of green snot ran out of Steve's nose.

"Yet, it doth seem as if the microbial peril hath infested thine flesh."

"I just haven't had a chance to find a tissue since practice."

Thor passed Steve a bar napkin. She continued, "In the halls of the Allfather there is but one cure for such an ailment."

"Thor, I'm not sure I can - "

"Bartender! Bring us all of your finest ale!"

\-------------------------

"I'm not sick"

Pizza Dog whined softly.

"I'm just going to lie down for a minute."

The mutt circled once and settled down on Steve's feet.

"Just for a minute."

Pizza Dog licked Steve's hand, but he was already asleep.


End file.
